but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
