So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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