This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
