I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
