What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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