best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
