Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just threw up on my dentist
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
