Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
