never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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