So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
do nipples grow back?
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