Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
