So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
