When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
