don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize