True but thats because hes a fetus.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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