He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In America we eat man semen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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