New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
