I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I touched a dick in church today
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
