Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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