Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
