All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
