youre lurking in front of me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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