friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
