But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
