it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
