what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
