Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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