I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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