I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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