I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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