im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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