there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
