And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
