i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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