I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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