she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
