have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just invented taco cereal.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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