he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
