Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
