she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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