I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize