We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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