Plan B is the new Plan A
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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