I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
