This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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