My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize