i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
