): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
