i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
