How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
