opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How does one acquire holy water?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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