Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight

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  (414): I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight http://tfl.nu/aoch
  Replies (2) Good night (1417) Bad night (613)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday

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  (248): I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday http://tfl.nu/yta3
  Replies (83) Good night (1445) Bad night (10170)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.

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  (321): I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code. http://tfl.nu/ho8g
  Replies (14) Good night (4420) Bad night (725)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

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  (803): I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15 http://tfl.nu/mt2n
  Replies (33) Good night (7615) Bad night (768)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one

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  (908): considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one http://tfl.nu/66eb
  Replies (29) Good night (1067) Bad night (6594)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.

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  (763): My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries. http://tfl.nu/9ep5
  Replies (8) Good night (4851) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.

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  (205): I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom. http://tfl.nu/673j
  Replies (9) Good night (855) Bad night (4564)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...

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  (651): Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying... http://tfl.nu/qpg3
  Replies (9) Good night (3179) Bad night (949)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

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  (610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih
  Replies (7) Good night (2925) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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  (616): Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america http://tfl.nu/zong
  Replies (27) Good night (6712) Bad night (1624)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.

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  (903): He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/b8b3
  Replies (3) Good night (2109) Bad night (743)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.

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  (920): Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids. http://tfl.nu/j5zx
  Replies (0) Good night (982) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.

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  (619): This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for. http://tfl.nu/6gu4
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.

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  (612): Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie. http://tfl.nu/tjli
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (404)

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