Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
