I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious