Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.

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  (714): dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/j38h
  Replies (25) Good night (4495) Bad night (727)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...

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  (513): I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten... http://tfl.nu/iblb
  Replies (50) Good night (3315) Bad night (5944)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.

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  (717): i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it. http://tfl.nu/e8nk
  Replies (2) Good night (2165) Bad night (796)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. you cant fuck a burger.

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  (215): dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house (1-215): no. you cant fuck a burger. http://tfl.nu/5325
  Replies (9) Good night (2689) Bad night (1133)
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  (925): View more from California

  He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.

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  (925): He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle. http://tfl.nu/x2qg
  Replies (11) Good night (1680) Bad night (2147)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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  (207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!

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  (608): WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?! http://tfl.nu/0ru3
  Replies (2) Good night (1862) Bad night (599)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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  (440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00
  Replies (15) Good night (478) Bad night (764)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.

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  (919): Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka. http://tfl.nu/j4b1
  Replies (4) Good night (725) Bad night (846)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.

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  (801): Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going. http://tfl.nu/a1o5
  Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (658)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.

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  (216): I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches. http://tfl.nu/a2wa
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (440)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
  Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall

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  (330): you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall http://tfl.nu/5i52
  Replies (3) Good night (1196) Bad night (422)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?

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  (518): Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles? http://tfl.nu/yiib
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (373)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK

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  (304): JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK http://tfl.nu/yt7k
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (269)

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