so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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