The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize