that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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