sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
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He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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