Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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