so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
