So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you win again, gameday.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Bring me that man meat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
