I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
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