I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
