do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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