Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
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he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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