I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
